It is a nice fall day for a walk in the woods. The trees are brimming with vibrant hues of reds yellows and oranges. I venture to the reservation to enjoy what nature has to offer. I wander down the leaf laden trail letting my mind travel to distant places while breathing in the crisp autumn air. I think about what I'm doing and where I'm going. Then the worries of the world start to invade my tranquil state. And just when I'm ready to turn back down the trail and head home, I think about the men I look up to and the struggles they went though. I think about Malcolm, I think about Tupac, and I think about Nelson. I start to imagine them walking besides me, encouraging me on the path I've already set out on.
As we walk along the trail, I ask for advice and their take on how to handle moments of doubt, darkness, and discouragement. And each one says the same thing, but in their own special way.
Malcolm tells me "Every man goes through his periods of doubts and uncertainties. And that's what makes life worth living. Being able to go through the shrouded moments and coming out unharmed to see the light. Because without that darkness. You will never know how bright the light is my brother. And that is what life is about, the moments that are so bright they become blinding. As you may know, I've been through those phases as well my young brother. I was once Red, until I found Islam and was shown the light which gave me the strength to fight the good fight for our people. And without that darkness, I wouldn't have been able to carry out the mission I was put here to serve, you understand?"
I nod and my head lifts a little higher as I hear Tupac's energetic voice say "That's some real shit right there. So listen up lil man. We all went through the same shit that you're going through. You question your every move. You have so many voices in your head that you don't know which way to go. And it drives you crazy. You got all this fuckin pressure from so many different directions like family, friends, the media, society, mutha fuckin everywhere. All while you are trying to figure out what to do with your life so you can be happy. And that's the shit that's fuckin with you, you are just trying to make something of yourself and be happy but all these mutha fuckas want you to do what they think is right. And at the end of the day, you gotta say fuck all that shit and just be you, because when you're not breathing anymore, when your heart stops best in for that final time, you the only one Layin and that's real shit. So when that moment comes, you betta make sure you can close your eyes with a smile."
Then I feel a hand on my shoulder, I turn and Nelson is just smiling at me. He proceeds to say "Young man, you are doing a fine job. Life is not meant to be easy. If it were meant to be easy, what would be the point? Growth comes out of uncomfortable situations. Without hardship, struggle, and pain, how can you expect to grow? It is just like a child going through growth spurts. His bones hurt, he has trouble sleeping, but when the pain subsides, he is different. He is stronger, he is bigger. I spent my whole life putting myself into uncomfortable situations because that is where I felt the most comfortable haha. I was okay with being uncomfortable because I knew that when the pain subsided, when the clouds cleared, when the light began to show, I was a better person. And in my life, not only were things better for me, things were better for the people I had the pleasure of serving. And that, son, is why life is such a beautiful roller coaster full of ups and downs. And when you get off the ride. It was thrilling and well worth every bit of it. The fear, the pain, the insecurity, the anger, the hatred. All of those things lead way to the courage, the euphoria, the comfort, the happiness and lastly the love. So keep walking and everything will be okay."
A gentle breeze blows, the leaves rustle, the trees whisper, and a tear full of happiness and courage falls from my cheek. And the four of us continue our Walk in the Woods on this autumn afternoon.
-Alex Zuberi